Tim Urban: Grinning Idiot?

Last night, Tim Urban was able to put together a performance that made the judges eat their words and nauseatingly kiss his ass.

Idol - Tim Urban

Lennon and McCartney night celebrated the Liverpool lad’s brilliant song writing abilities. It is nearly impossible to ruin these songs and Urban played to his strengths. Well, sort of.

Teflon Tim delivered All My Loving as a Plain White T’s-style shuffle. It was simple, heartfelt and to the point. Randy thinks he’s in his own category: “Is it a good Tim performance?” Simon thinks Tim should be judged in the context of the entire show, not just what he does.

No matter what the critique of Urban’s performance, of more importance it gave the American Idol producers their publicity lightening rod for another week. Vote For The Worst, an anti-American Idol website, has played their part in keeping Urban alive by garnering support by posting comments and references to his brother’s military service on Christian blogs. And by sending shirtless Urban pictures to every teenage girl they could possibly find they may be able to bump someone up from last to second last, but Vote For The Worst does not have the muscle to influence a vote count of millions.

In the Überstar world, Tim Urban would be a highly valued and protected contestant. His value, even amid controversy, is great. In the Überstar world, Urban would be two people – Kane Cabrera and Desdemona.

Kane Cabrera is an extrovert with small acting talents. A large character, Kane is good viewing as he appeals to the teenage girls who like blonde boys. He sleeps around with no thought whatsoever to the consequences. Kane buys his own publicity wanting only to be recognized and tries to hook up with women more famous than him. Kane Cabrera wants the ‘short cut to fame’.

Überstar - Kane Cabrera

Desdemona is the Christian pin-up girl. A devout member of her congregation, she represents what is noble about the Überstar competition. Her fan base comes from those with faith and it is no surprise to see her survive deep into the competition against the better recommendations of the judges.

Kane and Desdemona are tailor made for the Überstar world. Kane appeals to girls under the age of seventeen, while Desdemona survives because of those who see the contest as part of a higher purpose. No matter what people say about them, both are crucial to the contest’s success.

The Überstar world is no different to the Idol sphere.

Überstar - Desdemona

Tim Urban would win the Überstar contest.

He has gotten further than any of us would have expected. Every week we expect him to go, but he defies critics, experts and the judge’s opinions to survive.

Tim Urban is on borrowed time, but he is more popular and protected than we care to acknowledge.

Urban’s embarrassing personality quirk is that he smiles a lot.

He has every reason to be grinning.

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“This Was The Night Your Life May Have Changed Forever.”

Idol - Lee DeWyze

Even through the head fog brought on from his walking pneumonia, Lee DeWyze will understand the gravity of Simon Cowell’s grandiose statement on RB/Soul night Tuesday. DeWyze is a front-runner with undeniable talent and the judges seem to toss everyone else under the bus. He can afford to soak up glory of the review, and choke up about his life changing.

This is the guy 19 Entertainment has been watching all season. Simon’s endorsement is the single strongest indicator thus far, however the amount of pre-semi final promotion centred on the 23-year-old indicates the wheels of business were already turning. Through his up-and-close-personal piece during the Audition phase he was allowed to emotionally connect with his audience – a ploy to mobilise power voters and indefatigable teen-texters who will also buy his album by the hundreds of thousands. Aside from a complete personal implosion, he will be another from the American Idol stable to raid the airwaves this summer.

In the Überstar world, DeWyze has already made it to the top three. The archetypal frontrunners always do. In the Überstar world, DeWyze would be two people– Julio Garcia and Robbie Johnson.

Überstar - Julio Garcia

Julio Garcia is Überstar’s most talented contestant. A former child star, Julio’s personal demons and occasional on-air mistakes are overlooked and covered up as he is earmarked to star in the Überstar film – the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We are introduced to Julio and given a detailed description of him at the first round of auditions.

Robbie Johnson is destined for big things and such is his overwhelming popularity he is eliminated by the show’s producers. Robbie is given a publicity schedule thicker than a telephone book and told to ‘do his thing’ while having the network’s backing.

Robbie and Julio are spotlighted early on, and used in different ways to boost ratings and publicise the Überstar film. Both have their watershed moments. In a teen-magazine poll, Robbie is voted the most popular of the Überstars; Julio’s is an endorsement from one of the judges that ‘could very well change your life’. These acknowledgements were given to approve the actors who would take part in the Überstar film – a production that would need to begin months before the winner was announced.

The Überstar world is no different to the Idol sphere.

Lee DeWyze has crossed a line and Simon is right, his life will never be the same. However, his fate was determined well before Soul/RB night.

Julio and Robbie made it big, and DeWyze would be wise to learn from those who have come before him.

Überstar - Robbie Johnson

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Attn: American Idols – The 5 Temptations of Overnight Fame

Life is wonderful thing.

You’ve seen every episode of Entourage so you know how show business works. You’re Vincent Chase with a microphone.

You’ve participated in every interview on MTV from your bedroom for as long as you can remember, and you’ve won the previous eight seasons of American Idol in a landslide from that place in your head that puts you in the same category as Britney, Christina and Justin.

And now your hand hurts from signing your name on photos of you. Two months ago you were rocking your friends’ world on Rock Band. Now you’re signing autographs backstage to people who know your name, where you were born and what you’re favourite food is. However, now that you’re on American Idol, you must watch out for the temptations that can’t be learnt from the safe side of a television screen.

1. Drugs (not necessarily recreational)

Sleeping four hours a night for weeks on end will catch up with you. A little pill will bring you up every morning. And a little pill will bring you back down at night. Drawing deep into the competition, you need to be on your game at the right moment and these little pills may help…but they will not be your friends for much longer.

2. Human Entertainment

You will be tempted to sleep with minor celebrities, models, producers and fellow contestants who ‘know what it’s like to be in your shoes’. The unglamorous girl or boy back home who works on Saturdays at the Dairy Queen or bowling alley will never climb over the top of you to appear in the spotlight with you.

3. Fame

You’ve accumulated over 2000 friends on Facebook within three hours, and every day there is another fan page on the internet dedicated to you. Fame is posing for photos with fans at the mall. Fame is also talking to security experts who used to work for the President.

4. Fans

America may love you but they love American Idol more. Plan ahead for when you don’t have the muscle of America’s most watched television to thrust your talents front and center.

5. Believe everything you hear, read and feel

You are living in a vortex that has eaten stronger people than you. Even Scooby Doo and his gang of teenage cartoons cannot figure out how fame became so insanely disassociated from actual achievement – but what do you care, you’re benefitting. Reality shows do bite, and often quite pleasurably…but in the end what may feel right now is often wrong given what’s best for your long-term financial, artistic and psychological health.

The Producer has just tapped you on the shoulder. It’s time to sign your last autograph and jump into yet another limo. You have been preparing for overnight fame your entire life and now that you’ve seen what temptations lay before you, it is only now a matter of turning your fifteen minutes into something much, much more.

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American Idol Survival Guide

American Idol superstardom is upon you. Your dream of becoming a pop star is within reach. You brought your A-Game to the group eliminations and blew the competition away during the top 24 weeks. Your talents are about to be showcased in front of millions. This is your time.

You don’t have to win to make it big. In fact, winning is not always a good thing. All you need is enough time in the spotlight to jumpstart your career. This will be a hard task as you’re battling not only the other contestants and trying to impress the judges, but also the producers who decide how you are going to be perceived by the millions watching on their television sets. This is a competition in itself. One you must win.

However, if you follow the American Idol Survival Guide you will stay alive long enough to land that big record deal.

1. If You’ve Got It, Flaunt It

For girls, this means treading the fine line between sexy and trashy. Looks cannot overshadow your voice. Guys, cute eyes are a must, but do not give an inordinate amount of attention to your hair.

2. Be Prepared to Sing Outside of Your Genre

As unreasonable as this request is (do you think Billy Joel is ever made to sing Britney Spears?) if you’re going to survive you must be versatile.

3. Pay Attention to Performance Order

If they put you in the middle, you’re in trouble. And if they put you at the beginning, you’re chances of elimination are 50% higher. In large groups, human memory has a natural bias against places that follow a multiple of three (i.e., the fourth and seventh spots). This is of significance following an especially strong performance.

4.The Pimp Spot

Do anything in your power to get it. You’re in showbiz now. Find the producer responsible for the performance order and make it happen.

5. Pay Attention to the Judge’s Comments

And then ignore them. Unless it is something you truly know to be accurate, they are trying to manipulate you and boost ratings.

6. Request Input to Lighting Set-Up

A simple blue light for the duration of a performance will kill you. While a thousand light changes amplifies your performance and can cover for the occasional error.

Now there are no more excuses. It is now time to show America what you are made of. You’ve got the looks, the voice, and now the strategy to become our next singing superstar. Now the question is, how long will you last…

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Why Reality Shows Are So Popular

This article was featured on www.reality-tv.buzzsugar.com

Switch on the television at any time of the day, you are almost sure to find a reality show on some channel. Chances are that you have watched at least one of these shows and have taken a fancy to following the minutiae of the contestants’ lives as they unfold on the small screen right in front of your eyes. Just what is it about reality shows that make them so popular and grabs your attention like nobody’s business?

The contestants in a reality TV show are not acting; they are being who they are in real life. The producers and the editors of the show create a captivating story line as they go snip-snip with their editorial scissors. The result is pure, unadulterated entertainment, much more potent that any soap opera that you may have seen.

Do people like reality shows because they are real? Or do they just seem real? Observe yourself the next time you watch a reality show. Even if it is something as exaggerated and bogus as a starlet’s bridegroom hunt, you find yourself instantly drawn to it and caught up with the minute details. You may also find yourself unwittingly switching back to the channel to catch up with what’s going on even if you manage to channel surf to another show. Reality shows are so captivating possibly because you are getting a ringside view of other people’s ostensibly private lives.

Take any reality show and there will be some element of competition in it. The more fierce the competition, the higher the ratings. Take the popular reality TV shows – Survivor, Big Brother or American Idol for instance. We like it when people bully each other, call each other names and engage in backstabbing all in the name of winning the competition. There is a certain voyeuristic pleasure that we derive, out of watching others fight it out and sometimes completely humiliate each other, all within the safety of our couch with a bowl of popcorn in hand.

Of course, there is a smattering of good too about the entire gamut of reality TV. Ordinary people from small towns get to participate and compete against contestants from across the country; the show is a huge platform to showcase their talents. People are, and always will be, obsessed with fame and fortune. The reality show contestants have their mini-celebrity status for the duration of the show and for a short while after. Some even manage to grab a couple of new shows banking on the popularity or notoriety that the reality show had generated for them.

Love it or hate it, reality TV is here to stay. Producers will continue producing reality shows, big brands will continue endorsing them and we will continue watching them as long as the average human being continues to derive much pleasure from being a fly on the wall.

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Reality TV Expert and Author Vaughn Alaine-Marshall Releases Uberstar

– Mar 02, 2010 – Orlando, FL — Author and Reality TV Expert Vaughn Alaine-Marshall releases Überstar—the explosive novel based upon stories as told by contestants, producers and insiders from the world’s biggest reality television shows. The first installment of a trilogy follows participants, judges and the production crew in a fictitious ‘Idol’ reality show for actors.

Intrigued by phenomenon of reality television, Alaine-Marshall immersed himself in all things Überstar. He talked to former contestants, producers and insiders of numerous reality shows, including the hit television series American Idol and X-Factor. Many people were very happy to break confidentiality agreements and truly tell their stories. Alaine-Marshall wrote Überstar to give readers a better idea of what goes on behind the scenes of the world’s most watched shows.

Alaine-Marshall states, “The main objective is to highlight that reality shows have an even more compelling story behind the camera.There is much more happening [when the cameras are off] than the viewer imagines.”

In his research, Alaine-Marshall came across amazing stories about what goes on behind the scenes of our most loved shows.“The stories range from high-profiled drug overdoses kept under wraps to judges having affairs – along with all the unbelievable encounters contestants have during their time in the spotlight,”said Alaine-Marshall in a press interview.

Überstar takes the reader behind the scenes of a reality show for actors, all competing for a starring role in a Hollywood production. The other two installments (Überstar II: The Movie and Überstar III) of the trilogy will follow the contestant will be declared winner in Überstar, and part three will be set on a Survivor-style island.

To read more about the book, the author and latest news about Überstar, please visit the Überstar website at www.uberstarthebook.com. Überstar is now available in paperback and eBook at the Hendlin Books Online Bookstore at www.hendlinbooks.com.

About the author: Vaughn Alaine-Marshall is a reality-television expert and author. Überstar, Vaughn’s debut novel, is a ground-breaking exposé of reality-television as told by insider sources from the world’s biggest reality shows. Überstar is the Devil Wears Prada of reality-television. For an excerpt of the book, go to http://www.uberstartheblog.com and see his recent feature in Reality TV Magazine at www.budurl.com/vaughninrealitytvmag.

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7½ Things You Have To Do To Become A Reality-TV Star

You’ve just signed the confidentiality agreement. You can barely contain your glee. You’ve been chosen to be a reality-TV contestant on national television. Tens of thousands tried, but you beat them all. As the non-descript producer shakes your hand, you have the feeling your life is about to change.

Whether it was the hours of singing in the shower that prompted you to audition for American Idol, or that time you went camping with 9 people in a one-man tent which made you download the application form for Survivor – the little voice in your head was right. Grandma’s secret recipe for fried chicken is going to blow Gordon Ramsay’s hair back and the extra spin class sheared off enough cellulite off for Top Model. Or you’re the perfect combo of a regular (albeit generally successful, talented and attractive) Joe or Joanne off the street and an actor. No matter what your challenge is there are 7½ things you must do to separate yourself from the rest of your rivals to become a reality-TV star.

1. Keep a BIG SECRET
Allude to it often. Hopefully, it’s a real life thing (e.g. I’m gay, I never learned to read, I’m not really left-handed), but if you have to make up a crush on another contestant or a horrible past, that’s still good TV. No one will want you to go until they find out what it is.

2. Make some obvious show of progress.
The best way to do this is to start a big fight with someone, and when the fight gets the other person kicked off the show (remember, you have the BIG SECRET), pretend to be remorseful about it. Vow that you won’t allow whatever issue it was come between you and another contestant again. Hint that this is a way for you to deal with your BIG SECRET (e.g. He wanted to look at my baseball glove, and I acted without thinking!). Your fight is good TV, and your willingness to grow is keeps you well liked.

3. Provide a ‘creature comfort’ service to your fellow contestants.
If they believe that the next three months in the house / island / competition will be torture without you, they will not vote you off. Some suggestions: do all of the cooking, cleaning, or grunt work, and make a point of being happy to do it.

4. Attempt to sleep with other contestants as often and controversially as possible.
Don’t worry, in case you have moral objections to this you don’t actually have to follow through, just seem like you have. This shouldn’t be hard since the others will probably be doing the same thing, just make sure you come off better than they do. This will help to maintain the audience’s interest, and this will endear you to the producers.

5. Pick a stereotype and ratchet it up to an 11 (on a 1-10 scale).
And stick with it: the dumb hillbilly, the loud African-American woman, the flamboyant gay man, the spicy Latina, the aggressive punk-rocker, the used car salesman, the super-fat funny guy, the plumber’s apprentice, the gator-wrestling Australian…

6. Make sure you are always on camera.
Don’t go sulk in the corner somewhere. And always storm out of the room in a huff, even if you’re just going to get a sandwich.

7. Talk about your own gamesmanship obsessively.
Make lots of ‘confessional’ references to your own strategy; make little sneering comments about your ‘friends’ and ‘allies’. There’s nothing the audience likes more than arrogance and there’s nothing better than arrogance about game strategy.

7.5 Don’t win.
This is ultimately out of your control and hence why it’s half a suggestion. Get off the sinking ship. No one will care for the winner. Another couple of weeks of watching your rivals clog the airwaves the country will be ready to move on. So now, you’ve got a national audience waiting to hear every detail of your life and commercial opportunities to capitalise on your new-found fame. Mission accomplished.

You now know what it takes to shine as a reality-TV star. There are no more excuses. All the best and I hope to see you on our airwaves sometime this year..

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Ellen DeGeneres – Great People Are Still Everyday People.

Great people are still everyday people.

Great people lose socks in the laundry and order Chinese food when they don’t want to cook. In the morning their breath smells and they put their pants on one leg at a time.

What makes someone great is undefinable. However greatness is easy to identify.

Entertainers are scrutinised more than any other profession. It is easy to lose them in the hype.

It is easy to forget that Ellen DeGeneres is a great entertainer. Happiness and light are often mistaken for incompetence, just as darkness is continually praised for being creative. Talent alone cannot sustain a talk show for over 1000 episodes and producers, agents and networks can only do so much. Success on the level that Ellen has achieved comes from discovering your purpose on Earth and living it with every breath.

Season 10 of American Idol is going to rest squarely on the shoulders of Ellen DeGeneres. She is going to be the selling point for the biggest show on the planet. Ellen has reportedly signed a contract to be a judge on the show for at least five seasons. American Idol viewers may not have seen Ellen at work, but someone, somewhere knows she can handle it.

The comedian started taping the Hollywood rounds of the show last week and it will debut on FOX on February 9, 2010. On Ellen’s first day on set, reports indicate Simon Cowell showed up an hour-and-a-half late. DeGeneres was reportedly “greatly annoyed” by the tardiness. Insider sources say there are going to be two camps for Season 9. They claim Ellen has decided to try to take control since Simon is on his way out. The rumour mill, greatness’s strongest ally and enemy, is already in full force.

Whatever ensues this will make for great television.

Ellen DeGeneres knows how to make great television.

Great people get annoyed too and don’t always get it their own way. However, great people are remembered not for the arguments or speculation, but for how they transcended all of this and still made a difference.

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How Überstar Found Me – An Unlikely Beginning (Part III)

The hours after my first interview were euphoric. I couldn’t sit still. I had no appetite. The following day, after a sleepless night, I was even more charged. My body hummed and I could process many thoughts at once. The third day, however, my energy slammed back to Earth.

The sand stung my face as the wind picked up. It was still hot, but now my delicate tranquility was disturbed. Bondi Beach, although packed with thousands of people, was peaceful. All the noise blended into a low hum.

The euphoria of the previous days was addictive. I wanted to live all my days like this – to venture in unchartered territories. But my body would not allow it. I was bone-tired and I hadn’t had one new idea in three days.

I looked down at my notes yet again. I searched for something between the lines. The ideas now looked flat. Frustration and doubt were growing.

I put my legal pad into my bag and rolled over on my towel. I closed my eyes, taking off my sunglasses before resting my face on my damp, sandy towel.

It was then, that it happened. The thing I was subconsciously waiting for.

The triple helix appeared.

The triple helix was my secret key to passing every academic exam I’d ever taken. The triple helix allows me to see how ideas interact, where they want to go. Whether it is Modern History, Legal Studies, English or Chemistry it shows me how energy manifests into form. It shows me patterns in human behaviour and interactions. The triple helix allows me to know only a few facts, yet still write a lot. All I do is add a few dates (History), precedents (Legal Studies), character situations (English) or bonds (Chemistry). The triple helix appears in black space of my mind when I close my eyes.

The triple helix moves in all planes. As it changes direction, it vibrates, emitting a sound –similar to a deep cello chord. I feel the sound. It reverberates throughout my body. When an idea wants to be written, my hands move, transforming the sound into words. Often there are multiple helixes of different sizes, twirling and vibrating at different speeds. As I lay on my towel I saw five with interchanging colours – green, blue, red and violet. Violet on this occasion was the predominating colour.

The triple helixes were energising my body. I could feel the characters. I could touch them. I knew them.

The helical symphony had begun.

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The Überstar Who Sold His Soul – Robbie Johnson.

“From the moment I laid eyes on Robbie I had the feeling he was a hero or some such higher being. He always said the right thing at the right moment. I had to keep myself from staring. Right now, light strikes off his lower lip, glowing, like the face of some sort of statue, strong and soft at the same time.” Pg 53, Überstar

Robbie Johnson is destined for stardom. The smart money is on him to win.

Robbie Johnson is a livewire and events in his life are conspiring to maximise his potential. A classic over-achiever with no moral compass, Robbie laughs hard at the lurid stories his friends tell at parties, and he uses his charms to manipulate women. On the first night of the competition, he sleeps with a female producer to gain favour. Unbeknownst to him, Flashman is having an affair with the same woman.

Robbie dominates viewer polls and is adored by every female in the country. He is constantly filmed in different states of undress – his tanned body is a ratings gem. Robbie creates national headlines when he punches the country’s top radio DJ in the mouth for insulting his mother.

However, Robbie’s past is whispering in his ear. He is unable to forgive the Butterfly who dusted its wings for giggles. Robbie has a dark secret – something hidden from view.

Robbie Johnson has sold his soul.

According to legend, Robert Johnson (May 8, 1911–August 16, 1938) was a young black man living on a plantation in rural Mississippi. Branded with a burning desire to become a great blues musician, he was instructed to take his guitar to a crossroad at midnight. There he was met by the devil who took the guitar and tuned it. The devil played a few songs and then returned it to Johnson, giving him mastery of the guitar. In exchange for his living soul Robert Johnson was able to create the blues for which he became famous.

“You knew it was leading you to this point. You knew that things were about to change—you have always seen things others have not, felt things that put you two steps ahead of the game, and this will only grow stronger, clearer, with bigger stakes. I know you want to see how far you can go.” Pg234, Überstar

* * * *

Robbie Johnson’s exploits are based upon real events. Robbie’s character is a reconstruction. His physical appearance, nationality and age have been changed to hide the original source’s identity.

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